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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23099290">Love is Not a Victory March</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamamiwhoami/pseuds/iamamiwhoami'>iamamiwhoami</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Reality, Angst, F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Love Confessions, Redemption, ReignCorp, Smut, graphic smut, supergirl - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:14:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23099290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamamiwhoami/pseuds/iamamiwhoami</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a reality in which Kara's secret is out right after the battle against the Wordkillers and Sam's rescue, Lena travels to Metropolis wondering if she is a hero or a villain only to find out that she is loved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Samantha "Sam" Arias/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>150</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love is Not a Victory March</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/something_unknown/gifts">something_unknown</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey, guys! It took me forever to write this.</p>
<p>This is a gift for a precious person. Julia, I did my best, because you deserve the best, and I truly hope you like it.</p>
<p>Deliberately inspired by Jeff Buckley's version of the illustrious Hallelujah. ♪</p>
<p>Wish you guys a good reading. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>"You were never the villian. You were always the hero."<br/><br/>Those words still echoed in Lena's head as they walked towards the brick house on the suburbs of Metropolis. Sam asked for a moment to list rules of recommendation for Ruby for the pajama party at one of her friends' house, and Lena couldn't take her eyes off her, soft and serene under the streetlights. The certainty in her voice was so absolute that all Lena could do was thank and hug her so she couldn't see the stream of tears.<br/><br/>Lena knew, however, that she saw it. Her tears trickled down Sam's coat, her body shuddered in her arms as if she could feel her pain. And yet, she just stepped away insignificant inches to say: <em>Come. I'll get you out of the cold.<br/><br/></em>Oh, if Samantha Arias only knew that there was no cold. If only she knew that her words warmed Lena from the inside out and suddenly she was weak and feverish under her warm eyes...<br/><br/>Both forces would neutralize each other if Lena herself knew that Sam never looked that way at another person, that she never had words of tenderness for anyone other than Ruby, and that unique tenderness existed only for her, because it held a kind of affection that she could barely verbalize.<br/><br/>Ruby sent Lena a kiss at the end of the call and they walked in the unfazed silence, Sam deliberately putting her arm around Lena's shoulders and sighing in the cold night air, that smile of unknown significance never leaving her face while her eyes remained raised to the path ahead of them, practically guiding Lena, who hadn't yet retreated hers, unable to not observe that wonderful creature who was taking her torments away. There was no facing. No small boxes. It was like a caress or a gentle breath over a bruise.<br/><br/>Silence maintained its sovereignty when they entered, a tiny lamp on, Sam gently taking her coat and scarf and then kneeling in the living room to light the hearth. Lena didn't wait for an invitation to pick up two glasses and a bottle of wine from the cellar. She didn't usually deal with intimacy in someone else's domain, but again there was an incomprehensible easiness about Sam, the indelible sense of belonging. And even when the flow of words took its course with laughter and shared memories, the way Sam filled her heart with stories about Ruby starting to manifest all of a teenager's behaviors, the new job and Metropolis' madness, those words remained suspended over Lena's head, a reminder, an acquittal.<br/><br/>As the hours passed she also noticed how close they were, the way she leaned down to pick a hair on Sam's face and made her blush and Sam kissed her hand when she made a self-deprecating joke about the Luthors, as if she was saying: no, it wasn't truth, she wasn't like them, she couldn't be even if she wanted to.<br/><br/>Old ballads resounded on the radio when Lena stared at the glass in her hands and her heels over carpet on the floor and then Sam's smile sparkling in the light of the hearth's embers. "Thank you." She whispered. "I needed this."<br/><br/>"Wine?" Sam raised her eyebrows.<br/><br/>"I prefer Scotch, but you've always been an excellent wine sorter." Lena couldn't help but laugh and play along, watching the lovely woman sitting facing her on the couch, legs crossed, barefoot and flushed with the drink.<br/><br/>Sam laughed with her, but she quickly bowed her head and whispered back, waiting. "Tell me."<br/><br/>"Tell you what?" She frowned.<br/><br/>"What you needed."<br/><br/>Lena had already forgotten. It was easy to get distracted around Sam. Perhaps the only place in the world where she knew that she didn’t need to stay alert all the time. "This." She gestured lightly, welcomed by the suburban home. "Being... Out."<br/><br/>"It's unbelievable that you're the woman who so often convinced me to take a break from work to be with my daughter. Mind using your own advice?"<br/><br/>Sam was still with her head bowed, twrinkling her nose at the playful sting, but Lena was unable to laugh, the thought bursting in her mind about the crucial difference between them: Sam had something worth saving her time for.<br/><br/>If Lena took the break, she feared she would fall apart.<br/><br/>She put on her most convincing smile and nodded. "Believe me, I am most helpful and pleasant on my own in a laboratory." She lifted her glass for the last sip, laughing almost bitterly. "And a better company, too."<br/><br/>This time it was Sam who didn't laugh. At the sound of another self-deprecating joke, she frowned and sighed, her sweet eyes falling to the hearth and the flames sparkling in the reflex. She went on to take her own last sip and left the glass on the coffee table, her hands clasped at her chin, as she used to do when she was upset.<br/><br/>After a minute of endless silence, she faced Lena with an unknown depth. "I wish you didn't have to go."<br/><br/>"I don't have to go tonight." Lena smiled softly, almost avoiding the subject.<br/><br/>"You needed me to be your emotional support, so I kept my words. I let my enraged guard down back on our walk. I thought I had to." She seemed more determined and disturbed with each sentence. "But now I wish you didn't have to go."<br/><br/>"Sam..." Lena remained soft, resigned. "You know this isn't the first time I've dealt with a disappointment, don't you?"<br/><br/>"That's the point." Sam snorted and stood up, walking over to lean with one of her hands tightly squeezing the hearth's stone mantel. Then she looked back at Lena and she never looked so frank and troubled. "It's not fair. It's not fair that you have to be disappointed so many times. It's not fair that you have to fight so hard to deal with other people's mistakes."<br/><br/>Any other words faded in Lena's throat. She stood there, small and helpless on the couch seat, looking down at a raised and vibrant Samantha Arias staring at her with a fierce care that shuddered within her bones.<br/><br/>"You come to me because someone made you doubt yourself, they denied you trust, as if you weren't worthy of it..." Sam shakes her head and grits her teeth, clenching her fist. "They couldn't have done what they did to you. None of them. And nobody before them."<br/><br/>For a second that dispersed too quickly, Lena thought she saw a trace of the fearsome Reign in those words and gestures, but none of that was the legacy of a Wordkiller. That was Samantha Arias in a rare moment of sincere frustration. Because she was kind and good and persistent and she never let her emotions show too much, unless they didn't fit inside her anymore.<br/><br/>But that humble heart could hold so much that it seemed unimaginable. And in fact Lena could never imagine how much was inside Samantha's heart just for her.<br/><br/>"I'm used to." She shrugged her shoulders almost timidly, her sabotaging mind trying to overwhelm her while all she felt was affection.<br/><br/>"You shouldn't have to get used to it. You shouldn't have to adapt to this kind of pain just because it keeps being thrown at you." Sam didn't hesitate, she couldn't do it anymore. "You should be trusted and protected. You deserve... To be taken care of."<br/><br/>The words resonated and turned her stomach in the most absurdly adorable way and all her instincts echoed that she shouldn't allow herself to be captivated. Until she realized that she was already captivated, she would always be captivated by that woman. And it kept increasing. Inevitable.<br/><br/>"A Luthor being taken care of." She appealed for mockery. "Eventful."<br/><br/>"Please, don't..." Sam sighed, her hand tightening on the stone mantel again. "I should be there for you."<br/><br/>It almost broke Lena once and for all, but everything was spinning around in her head, Kara's secret, all the friends who lied to her, all the people who once betrayed her and made her feel like a fool and she couldn't just surrender.<br/><br/>"You have Ruby to look after." Lena laughed and thought she had escaped again, but suddenly Sam was shaking her head in denial.<br/><br/>Her voice shook, so weak that Lena could barely hear it.<br/><br/>"Not like this. Nothing like this." She looked so deeply into Lena's eyes that it didn't seem that they were separated by the two extremities of the living room, the couch and the hearth, it was as if they were close enough for her to feel the warmth of the fire in those brown eyes melting the fortress of green marble that she was trying to keep.<br/><br/>Lena wasn't sure that she had complete control over her movements. She got up slowly, walking unsteadily across the room, her heart beating too loudly in her ears and all the realization of those words bursting right in front of her. She lifted her arm and touched Sam's warm face from the fire, caressing it as if she admired a rare and precious discovery.<br/><br/>How long had it been there? She saw the truth in Sam's eyes and knew, in the sound of a soft sigh, that Sam saw it in hers too. And she almost retracted and ran, because the magnitude overwhelmed her senses and it hurt divinely, the surrender she denied to herself.<br/><br/>Because how could she allow it? How could she be selfish, walking through the cozy doors of the Arias family and dragging along a mess of conflicting emotions? What right did she have to accept that woman who looked at her as if she were not the hideous existence that the world tried to make her believe she was?<br/><br/>"Sam..." Lena whispered, eyes falling to her collarbone. "I feel... Scared. I think."<br/><br/>She was about to rip her hand off her face filled with expectation when Sam gently held her trembling fingers and closed her eyes, kissing her running wrist, bringing her an inch closer, more warmth, more of her.<br/><br/>"I'm scared too. I've been scared for so long..." She confessed, laying her cheek again on Lena's palm. "All the time you're somewhere I'm not."<br/><br/>None of them probably knew that kind of deliverance, but it was so immediate that it felt like the hearth flames were devouring them in the next instant, igniting everything around. Lena's hands trembled over her face and collarbone and Sam closed the distance holding her by the waist with a will that made Lena's body weaken inside her arms.<br/><br/>The touch of the lips paradoxed between euphoria and serenity and Lena caught a glimpse of light through her own closed lids. Fresh wine burned on the tongues and she arched, making Sam lean over her, strong hands on her back and she desperately scaled to tighten her arms around her neck, despair consuming and numbing at high speed.<br/><br/><em>Surrender.</em><br/><br/>The ballads on the radio fell silent and the suburb was so peaceful. Even the fire resigned itself to quiet embers, dimming the light in the living room. And suddenly they were two silhouettes of mouths open and trembling fingers intertwining in the darkness.<br/><br/>"Is this..." Sam moved an inch away, panting over her, red staining around her lips. "Is it too much?"<br/><br/>Lena gasped with her, her forehead falling weakly against Sam's chin, an urgent kiss on her skin trying to appease the remaining doubts. "I don't know." She exhaled, confused and amazed. "It is to you?"<br/><br/>Sam held her tight and kissed her forehead again, her eyes squeezed almost painfully until she opened them and smiled overwhelmed. "Yes, it is." She replied breathlessly, taking Lena's hand to land on her chest, her heartbeat wild. "It's so much it doesn't even seem real." Then she laughed, the same confusion almost amazed.<br/><br/>"It is real?" Lena whimpered for confirmation and slid her nails delicately over her protruding, erratic, insane chest.<br/><br/>"I..." Sam laughed again, feeling silly, young, ready. "I don't think I can take it if it isn't..."<br/><br/>Because Samantha dreamed so many times about that precise moment at the edge of time that she couldn't bear another illusory dream.<br/><br/>And Lena was inevitably carried to laugh with her, infected by her genuineness, as if they were seeing each other through a fragile veil, suddenly torn, making both crystal clear and touchable. At the same time she looked so scared, almost fascinated, brown eyes sparkling in the darkness over hers.<br/><br/>For all that mattered, Lena, on the other hand, wondered how she could never have explicitly dreamed about that precise moment at the edge of time if she was simply discovering in a flash of light and fire that she wanted that more than anything.<br/><br/>With a leonine furor, Sam dove for her and Lena allowed herself to be guided. She felt slightly lethargic, dizzy with will, letting Sam turn her body and cover her neck with soft lips, unbuttoning her shirt, sliding it over her shoulders on a map of kisses and sighs. Because Sam was awake and euphoric, touching all the skin she could find, reverencing it, sending chills from the inside out to her body.<br/><br/>Still, there was a once again endearing kindness about Sam at the same time that every touch of her long hands on her felt like a trail of uncontrollable fever. Lena was thrown at the cross between vigor and submission and she went lost in it until her bra straps fell off her shoulders and she gasped melodically with Sam's palms covering her breasts and the sharp breath sang in her ears.<br/><br/>It should have been clumsy, but it was intertwined like the shape of a flower's petals. She whimpered and turned her torso to grab Sam's neck and pull her down, colliding their lips together so the sound would get lost inside their mouths. And Sam slid her hands down her sides to undo the button on her pants, blindly dipping her fingers between her legs and letting the absolute sound that came out of her own throat get lost again between their mouths.<br/><br/>Lena shivered, her back again lying on Sam's body, feeling her heart pounding and trusting it, her head falling on her left shoulder, one hand pulling her short hair and the other meeting Sam's fingers between her her legs, tight and warm, double panting simultaneously cutting the silence around.<br/><br/>"Sam..." Lena almost stammered through the space, her lashes fluttering over her eyelids.<br/><br/>Immediately she lost Sam's touch between her legs, feeling her body being turned again and taken in her firm arm, Sam's hand cupping her cheek gently and painfully. "I was too fast? I'm sorry, I..."<br/><br/>Sam's words were interrupted when the buttons on her shirt flew uncoordinated across the room, one of them burning instantly upon reaching the hearth. She held her breath under the fierce gaze of green eyes, Lena suddenly waking up, skipping the rest of the process to attach their bodies, pushing Sam to the nearest wall and closing her eyes in the collision, her trembling fingers pulling at Sam's pants, tight and stuck to her hips. And Sam understood the deal, the heat spreading inside her, Lena's skin prickling against hers.<br/><br/>"Touch me." Lena gasped pleadingly. "Touch me if you want to. The way you want to."<br/><br/>Samantha stopped for a moment and watched her flushed face and numb eyes, almost opening her mouth wide in a desperate laugh. Because Lena could never imagine how much and how she wanted to touch her, have her, be hers. Move all the pain and the doubt, the resentment and the guilt away from her, and prove to her that the whole world was always wrong about her.<br/><br/>She didn't find the words. She was never a fool, but neither was she a speaker. Her life was based on actions, without words for the boy who abandoned her pregnant, for the mother who cruelly expelled her, for the companies that rejected the inexperienced young woman. She was always running, always doing. And even though she knew she had time to find what to say to Lena, she wasn't sure. It was too much and nothing at the same time, fighting inside her head.<br/><br/>In the hands of the actions, however, she gives everything.<br/><br/>They both looked at each other and laughed spontaneously, Sam's ruined shirt draped over her shoulders and Lena's shirt left on the floor. Sam's pants stuck to her hips and Lena pulsing wet against the fabric of hers. Sloppy traces of lipstick on the lips. Wildly tousled hair. Flushed faces, incredulous smiles, their laughter bursting through the silence like a symphony.<br/><br/>Then Samantha slowed down, caressing Lena's arms and tenderly kissing her reddish face, feeling the aggressive pulse on her wrists, holding her hands to slide her lips to her palms, Lena's laughter becoming sweet around her.<br/><br/>"Jesus, when you laugh..." Sam blew, out of breath.<br/><br/>Lena squeezed her eyes with delightful sweetness, shaking her head, her cheeks running more red. She knew the game of seduction perfectly, she played it several times, but it was not a game for Sam, not a word or touch, Sam just gave all the genuine expression of an affection that Lena never knew.<br/><br/>And it made her feel invigorated and suddenly powerful, a kind of absolute control, but carefree, there was nothing she couldn't do, nothing she couldn't hold, the tension that troubled her mind spreading to tighten her body filled with desire. Then she laughed and laughed again, hurrying away to run from the room to the hallway, towards the stairs, leaving Sam nailed to the wall with her eyes widening in disbelief.<br/><br/>If it was a game of seduction, it was the sweetest and unplanned one that Lena ever played. She ran happily, jumping for the stairs, listening to Sam's laughter just behind her. No effort came from her to escape when she felt her body being pulled and awkwardly, though gently, perched on the steps, Sam's figure kneeling over her, eyebrows raised in triumph.<br/><br/>And it seemed so silly, because for a second Lena's brain tried to sabotage her by saying that Sam would be confused or vexed, but there she was, her smile and shirt wide open, holding her and leaning over to kiss her again over the stairs and Lena couldn't get enough.<br/><br/>When Sam leaned in a little more and Lena felt the sting of the corner of the step digging into her back, she laughed with mild pain, making her straighten up and rummage over her, eyes alert on her body. "D-did I hurt you?" She touched Lena's back, helping her to sit properly, straddling her lap. "I'm sorry, I..."<br/><br/>Lena's smile disappeared in the afflicted sound. She cupped Sam's face, caressing it gently with her fingertips, slowly shaking her head. She wanted to say: No. She wanted to say: Never. She wanted to say that Samantha was the only one who had never hurt her. And that she was sure – perhaps a naive and reckless certainty – that she wouldn't.<br/><br/>That she would take care of her.<br/><br/>She shook her head again in denial, pulling Samantha closer. "Sam..." she whispered with the excruciating pain of having her on her lap, warm and soft. "I need..."<br/><br/>The request faded when Sam kissed her deeply, holding on tight so she wouldn't crash into the steps again. "I know, babe." She rested her forehead on hers. "I'm right here."<br/><br/>The words, left floating in the atmosphere between obvious simplicity and overwhelming meaning, numb Lena again. She barely felt it when Sam stood up and brought her along, her legs around her waist, carrying her upstairs with hands firm on her thighs, the crooked belt of her pants pressing in the middle, making Lena sigh and sink her face under Sam's jaw, arms tight around her neck.<br/><br/>She felt herself lying on the mattress as if she were too precious not to be treated with delicacy, it wasn't fear in Sam's movements, it was again the care she was trying to transmit endlessly. And as much as she was boiling and demanding, she didn't dare break the spell around them.<br/><br/>Samantha kneeled on the bed and finished pulling out Lena's pants calmly, taking off her shirt still dangling over her own shoulders. Lena's laughter sounded again when she struggled against the sleeves, hurried with herself, but never with her, gentle and patient, appreciating. Her whole expression asked silently, her hands on the pantyhose on Lena's waist, waiting. Lena helped her, sliding the thin fabric, letting her slowly pull from the waist to her thighs and then to her calves, lifting one leg at a time and kissing the skin that emerged as she undressed her. And while she remained composed, pleasing her, Lena could read the hidden ferocity.<br/><br/>Sam's eyes roamed over her body, only in underwear, and Lena swallowed with affection sparkling, like a kind of energy that fell from Sam to her so pure and still crawling with desire.<br/><br/>"How can you be this beautiful?" Sam exhaled in a second of commotion.<br/><br/> Lena responded with the same sincerity. "How can you?"<br/><br/>Sam's only reply was a lovely and almost embarrassed, youthful giggle, a different facet of the Samantha that she knew, just as she knew her face was out in the light, where vulnerability didn't bring fear, giving in didn't bring fear, to exist honestly in her arms didn't bring a single flash of fear.<br/><br/>She swallowed hard and stared at the frayed button on Sam's pants and watched silently as she stood up on the bed and undid the belt buckle and button and then the pants, half naked as she was, falling to her knees again and crawling quickly to cover the her body, the sighs disappearing in the next passionate kiss.<br/><br/>It was a light pressure and it burned both of them without hurting, underwear coming out in the careful slide of two pairs of hands, Sam's lips mapping Lena's body again, making the skin crawl. Lena held one of Sam's hands on her own neck, for her to feel the throbbing uncontrolled, needing to hold her somehow. And Sam kept going down, knowing where she needed to reach, reverencing her collarbone, the valley between her breasts, her abdomen, skipping processes and gasping audibly when she reached it, the scent clouding her senses from trimmed black curls to the outer lips, and her tongue slipped out of her mouth before she could ponder.<br/><br/>Lena moaned almost desperately at the touch, arching on the mattress. She didn't wait so soon, but she shivered and dug her nails into Sam's hand firmly on her neck, allowing herself to be tasted and devoured and consumed while Sam squeezed her thigh and face between her legs, humming breathlessly, pulling her closer as if she were unable to get enough.<br/><br/>When her hand was released for Lena to grab the sheets in perdition, her body in a perfect arc of vibrations and sweat, lips and tongue and gasp sending her hard and her heart racing, Sam finally mapped her with fingers, cupping a breast and circling a nipple, delirious in Lena's rendered whimper and in the current soaking her mouth and dripping down her chin.<br/><br/>Never enough. She stabilized Lena's hips and her ears closed with her thighs tight around her head, sinking in, taking everything she could hold. She made Lena come on the tip of her ferocious tongue and then she drank, biting harmlessly the skin on her left thigh, snarling with air and ecstasy. And Lena was left in the spasms, her hands almost tearing at the sheets.<br/><br/>Then Sam came back to her with her chin shining and her smile overflowing with will, all the confession that she was far from over. Lena gasped, wrapping her legs around her, trapping her in her embrace, touching her breasts, squeezing and caressing, feeling the soft weight to see Sam closing her eyes, shiny lips twitching and opening her mouth to fall into one more kiss, one more surrender, the impact of her body on Lena bringing more pressure, still not enough.<br/><br/>Lena urged for air and moved an inch away to moan, covering her own mouth with a shaking hand, her head falling sideways on the mattress when Sam's fingers touched the soaked folds, sliding easily, turning her world upside down again in a blink of an eye.<br/><br/>Sam kissed her flexed jaw, biting the end to her ear, the sound reaching far away. "Look at me." She circled the warm, pulsating entrance, moaning at the sensation and sending an electric charge through Lena's entire body, receiving another melodious growl in response and green eyes returning to hers. "It's just you and me here." Leaning closer to her, she knew she was begging in the tone. "Please..."<br/><br/>Again she was silenced by a deliciously fearless impulse. Lena tightened her legs around Sam's hips and her fingers slid into her, Sam's eyes widened and a breathless sigh escaped immediately. And Lena stared at her with her mouth open, moaning and gasping, her breath warm on Sam's surprised face, giving in to the request she interrupted.<br/><br/>Eyes on eyes caught them in the moment. Lena continued to release the maddening sounds that made Sam's head spinning at full speed, increasingly sharp and unsteady, filling her ears. Overloaded, she buried her flushed face in Lena's neck, moving in and out of her at a steady and delicate pace, but with a vitality that made Lena scratch her back and exclaim when she circled the belligerent clit with her thumb.<br/><br/>Sam felt the pressure around her fingers and rose slightly to see Lena's eyes still wide, looking at her, her bottom lip pale with her bite, as if she were holding back. Then she half turned her hand, curling her fingers, wanting nothing more than to make Lena come again and again and again in her arms.<br/><br/>Lena's body arching through the movement, still holding Sam in her embrace, caused Sam to return on her knees bent on the bed, pulling their bodies together to bring Lena sitting on her lap, her arm around her waist propelling her up and down on her fingers. The sounds Lena was suddenly making were louder and more consecutive, out of breath, her hands gripping Sam's shoulders to steady herself.<br/><br/>"Sam..." She gasped, stroking the damp hair on the back of Sam's neck, her voice muffled on her skin. "What are you doing to me?" Then she moaned again and again, Sam's wrist burning between her legs, her fingers moving unstoppably inside her.<br/><br/>"I'm loving you." Sam propelled her upward hard, receiving another sweet insane moan right into her face, their eyes meeting. The words came from her without fear, without hesitation. "I'm showing how much I want you, how much I need you. Because I do. Damn it, Lena..." She pushed and pressed and Lena jumped on her lap, throbbing, the cracking sound of their thighs hitting together echoing in the bedroom, inside and out, strong and soft.<br/><br/>Once again she was unable to finish, the words replaced by a grunt of goodwill when Lena's teeth sank into her shoulder and she poured on her fingers, warm, shaky, undone. Sam held her through the height, whispering, guiding her back to reality.<br/><br/>When Lena managed to open her eyes again, slowly and painfully, she caught a glimpse of the unspoken words suspended on Sam's lips. Those sweet brown eyes searched hers with solemnity and a glow of affection so magnanimous that it looked like it was going to shatter her from the inside out.<br/><br/>"Do you know that I'm loving you, Lena?"<br/><br/>The question was huge and tiny at the same time. And Lena caressed her face to ease the disturbance, her thighs still trembling from the orgasm, but her hands firmly on Sam's cheeks and jaw through brief kisses on her forehead, making her sigh with tenderness. She waited, but the truth eluded her when her eyes opened in the darkness.<br/><br/>"I don't think I know anything besides you right now. I can't feel anything but you. I don't want to." She could have sworn she saw tears on Sam's eyelids, struggling to run. "So let me..." There was fear, almost giving in. "Just let me feel." And her voice wavering again, almost gone.<br/><br/>Sam seemed to melt at the request, her arms weakening around Lena's waist. The moment allowed Lena to lie down, bringing her on, turning them slowly on the mattress, capturing her lips with teeth and tongue, the kiss making Sam almost beg for something she could never categorize, maybe love in itself, maybe the relief of longing for desire, perhaps forgiveness for not being with her when everything fell apart, perhaps everything colliding disastrously.<br/><br/>But Lena took the control that Sam wanted to give freely, her lips on a journey through her body, sucking her nipple into her mouth, kissing at the ribs on her panting body, dizziness in her mind, blood running wild in her veins.<br/><br/>A physical response to the awareness that she never felt that way and was destroying and reviving her world in thousands of shards of the sound, the taste, the touch of Lena on her in eternal surrender.<br/><br/>It still didn't seem real.<br/><br/>Then it exploded under her eyes like stars and meteors. Lena sucked on her clit and moaned and squeezed her thighs and then moaned again, breathing between her legs, nibbling and licking around and through. Sam grabbed the headboard and gasped so loudly that she thought it would scare her, but she woke Lena even more to gently slide two fingers in, demanding more sounds, more pressure, strong, until she came and gushed over her lips in absolution .<br/><br/>Nothing else existed around.<br/><br/>Neither villains nor heroes.<br/><br/>Neither Luthors nor Kryptonians.<br/><br/>Their world inside the room forbade all oppressive torments, all devastating lies, all bitter grudges, all accusations and excuses. They entwined themselves closer than ever between the sheets and kissed each other breathlessly and marked themselves in red to erase any other trace of anguish.<br/><br/>Lena immediately returned the command in her hands, because it wasn't a dispute. She remained aware that it wasn't a game of seduction or a shallow subterfuge on the part of any of them, she again felt the soft weight of Sam's body on hers and hummed, her lungs burned for her to exhale the truth that had been proclaimed hers: She was at the mercy, she belonged and wanted to belong to Samantha Arias.<br/><br/>When Sam sat straddling her hips, sweaty and glorious, an extraordinary fusion of sensuality and tenderness, Lena knew what she didn't need to say. They were there belonging to each other, in each other's arms and thoughts and desires, in complicity, in truth, in the equity of unprecedented care.<br/><br/>They were still panting when their fingers touched between her legs at the same time, but beyond the odd angle, they suddenly felt as if they couldn't move their hands and wrists. Lena slid awkwardly over her folds and Sam tried to maintain control, but failed equally, all of their fingers shaking and exhausted. And what could be embarrassing just burst into euphoric and surprised laughter, wide eyes, fascination and intimacy. Sam flexed her fingers out between their bodies, frowning and shaking her head in disbelief, and Lena covered her face, blushing, the two of them laughing in endless adoration.<br/><br/>On the other hand, it was briefly that Samantha's laugh stopped and she spread her hands on the mattress, bent over Lena, moving away for a moment to kneel in between her legs. And Lena caught the action immediately, a sigh still as needy as before escaping between her lips, her thighs tightening around Sam, heels at the base of her spine.<br/><br/>The first wavy movement of Sam's body over her still stung their muscles and bones, but she waved again and again, crushing their slippery bodies together, hands firm on the mattress, Lena's heels encouraging the stability of the burning collision, the moan. Lena's stammering demanding continuity, her stammering moan demanding continuity, the prolongation of Sam's soaked slit over hers, sliding hot and luxurious.<br/><br/>Sam leaned over her in accelerating movements and her short hair fell like a chaotic cascade on her face, the strands sticking to her sweaty face, and Lena held her close to fit the strands behind her ear, her hands stroking reverently Sam's cheeks and shoulders and breasts, wanting too much to leave her out of her touch, wrapping her arms around Sam's neck and bringing her down, to lie on top of her as they continue to move wet and pulsing in the delicious ripple.<br/><br/>And perhaps it was the simple way in which Sam's eyes shone at her with the same absolute affection even though they were immersed in the sexual frenzy. She wanted to caress her whole body and kiss every inch of it and it still wouldn't be enough.<br/><br/>In a particularly strong impulse that rubs over her clitoral hood, she moans in surrender once again, the infinite universe expanding in flesh and fluid and sound, Sam's name dripping from her mouth like a prayer, an incoherent syllable, an inevitable plea. She squeezed her legs and sent Sam screaming hoarsely, as if she wanted to take everything inside her, waving and arching over and over.<br/><br/>It was experiencing for the first time in their lives the sensation of wanting someone so much, to exceed all physical and logical limits, to cross the line until the last fragile load of strength in the limbs, losing their sanity. Sam taking her breasts in her weak hands and pressing, Lena arching to grab her buttocks and undulate at the same time, an imperfect but ideal and powerful synchronicity, taking all her breath and strength.<br/><br/>They came with the feeling of seeing the world falling apart around them. Through the last sounds, sweat glistening on their skin, their bodies, shaking and overcome by tiredness, jutted together on the mattress between short breaths and weak spasms. No more stubborn movements other than Lena's hands caressing Sam's neck and hair and Sam's hands gliding up and down Lena's still flexed leg on her hip.<br/><br/>Lena waited in the darkness, her body vibrating from head to toe under Sam's, wondering what exactly would follow. In the indefinite lost time, she felt Sam's ribs protruding, her purred laughter ringing softly in her ears.<br/><br/>She held her face up, enjoying the laugh. "What is it?" She frowned, smiling genuinely. "What happened?"<br/><br/>"What do you think?" Sam tilted her head in her hands.<br/><br/>"I think you broke me." Lena teased, seducing. "Congratulations, Miss Arias, you just defeated a Luthor in the least orthodox way expected."<br/><br/>In the tiniest space of reaction, she thought the joke would make Sam look at her with regret and disapproval, refusing her to compare herself with the other Luthors, but all she received was a wicked and proud smile. "Maybe the Worldkiller DNA rests on me, since I just rocked the world of the great Lena Luthor, huh?"<br/><br/>Lena couldn't resist widening her eyes and laughing wholeheartedly at the infamous joke, both finally quoting their demons without irony or self-deprecation, just something silly and fun, weightless, without hurt. Sam contemplated that laugh and she didn't understand how the people around Lena were able to hurt her and steal that gorgeous smile.<br/><br/>They remained eye to eye even after the wave of laughter and Lena touched her face, caressing it slowly, but it was Sam who took the voice again and broke the inevitable little barrier.<br/><br/>"Stay?" She simply asked.<br/><br/>It didn't take a mere second for Lena to exhale harshly and pull her close to kiss her lips again.<br/><br/><br/>The next morning came quickly, the sunlight flooding through the blinds warmly and calmly, the engines of the suburban cars rumbling in the streets, the school bus, the milkman, the newsboy, the ordinary life, full of its own beauty, reborn from the outside. Inside the room, Samantha slept peacefully on her stomach, an almost imperceptible sound whistling between her lips, the nail and tooth and lips marks covering her like countless signatures stamped on the flesh.<br/><br/>But out from where her body rested, it was cold.<br/><br/>Lena was standing in front of the bed, silently watching Sam's unperturbed sleep, her purse on her shoulder, all clothes dressed and straightened, dark circles from having stayed awake for the rest of the night, just looking and touching and caressing the woman that held her through everything. She spent the last hour making her way back, the stairs, the hallway, the living room, the hearth. She crossed and remembered every corner of the house, she thought she heard their voices and their laughter and gasps through the last dark night.<br/><br/>It was panic and fear that tore her out of Sam's bed and arms in the first minute of dawn. The bitter prospect of returning to her life in National City, among people who didn't trust her and who she found out she couldn't trust, the compulsive loneliness, the longing that she would feel every single day of moments just like this. It was breaking her from the inside out, as if she had traversed a long journey from which she could never return and yet she forced herself on the opposite path.<br/><br/>Because it would do no good. Everything urged her to insist and drag herself back, because gifts like that, precious, simple and beautiful, didn't last for her. They never lasted. And she couldn't stay and see everything ruined, she couldn't take it anymore without completely losing her mind, even more so being Sam, the sweet, protective, sincere and fierce, who filled her world last night with light and color and sound and heat, who gave her what she craved without even knowing: <em>Mercy.</em><br/><br/>Like a ghost lost in a world to which she didn't belong, she left the room and walked all the way again, stairs, hallway, living room, hearth, to the coat rack at the door to pick up her scarf. Her hand shuddered on the golden doorknob, freezing, unable to turn it. Was that what she had been reduced to? Was that the kind of person she wanted to be? A fugitive at dawn, leaving the woman who made her feel reborn and took away the pain that was suffocating her without even a word?<br/><br/>She didn't know if she could face it, deal with it, hold it. She was afraid that she would hold on to Sam as the last hope, because it wouldn't be fair, she's no last resort and Lena wanted her to know that forever. She was afraid that she would hurt Sam and drag her and Ruby into the chaos of her life. At the same time, all of Sam's actions and words still roared in her ears, reminiscent of fire all over her body, all of which was kept from being released and given freely and immensely, awakening all of Lena's senses to how much she wanted her as well.<br/><br/>Lena realized that it was a matter of choosing.<br/><br/>She practically ran back, crashing through the bedroom door and braking with wide eyes and horror turning her pale when she saw Sam sitting in the middle of the bed, her face sunk in her bent knees, crying crouched.<br/><br/>It shattered her heart and she wanted to reverse time to hear Sam's precious laughter echoing from her again.<br/><br/>With the impact of the door abruptly open, Sam looked up at the entrance, tears streaming thickly down her cheeks, dripping from her chin, and those beautiful brown eyes shining so brightly that Lena couldn't tell if it was hope, surprise or pure sorrow.<br/><br/>She didn't expect recognition. She started tearing off her own clothes in front of Sam's wide eyes, the scarf over her shoulder, the long coat, shirt and pants, the boots clumsily clinging to the hems, exposing herself vulnerable before her, the marks of last night in scattered red tones.<br/><br/>The journey that Sam mapped.<br/><br/>She finished so quickly, urgently, Sam's mouth opening to see her completely naked at the entrance to the room. Then Lena marched towards her, climbing on her knees on the bed, crawling to her with an unstoppable determination, finding her motionless and stunned in the middle.<br/><br/>“What...” Sam winced, too afraid to ask. "What are you doing?"<br/><br/>Lena reached for her, spreading her knees open and pulling her by the thighs to wrape herself between her legs, pushing gently, never stopping touching her, to lay her on the mattress filled with memories.<br/><br/><em>What are you doing?</em><br/><br/>She held Sam's face in both hands and devoured the unanswered question, pressing her lips over hers, impressed to realize how much she had missed having her so close in just a few hours, her bodies trembling together, the heat she radiated disintegrating the coldness she left in National City.<br/><br/><em>What are you doing?</em><br/><br/>Sam followed the movement, holding her face equally, looking for the answer, because she needed to know. She woke up and she just knew, then she cried for endless minutes in an agony that started to destroy her the moment she opened her eyes to not find Lena in her arms.<br/><br/><em>What are you doing?</em><br/><br/>It resonated with the heavy sound of Sam's breath.<br/><br/><em>What are you doing?<br/><br/></em>Lena gently picked up the last tear sliding down her cheek and leaned her forehead against hers, unable to confess too loudly, fearing she would lose everything in the blink of an eye.<br/><br/><em>What are you doing?<br/><br/></em>Sam's breath was balanced, the suburb was silent again and her voice reverberated in a surrendered whisper.<br/><br/>And finally, Lena smiled heartily.<br/><br/>"I'm loving you."<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for getting here. </p>
<p>I think the only thing that I pursued with this story was... Connection.</p>
<p>Find me on Twitter: @dokkstormur</p>
<p>See you guys soon. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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